Story numero uno La Tara

Tiana Harkins is a lover of cheesecake and anything cheese related. She grew up in Wisconsin where she found her love for cheese and cheesecake. Her favorite kind of cheesecake is some kind of brownie or cookie or some shit like that. It is one of that has enough sugar in one single slice to last you an entire week. But, since she loves cheesecake sooooo much, she eats about one cheesecake per week while in school instead of doing her actual school work.

Since we mentioned school, she is definitely a different student. Tara tries to be the best at everything but then she will get stuck on how to do a simple task, such as SQL queries. A simple query will take her ages to complete and most of the time she will ask BitchBoi for help and then continue to degrade him once he helps her. Deep down BitchBoi knows one day he will be her boss and probably fire her for no reason at all just to get back at her. Take that Tara!! HA!!!

Where was I? Oh yes, Tara as a student. Tara is in the top 3 of her classes and has yet to be the number 1 student in the class, ya know, since she tells students to fuck off and leave her cheesecake alone.

Story numero dos New site Who DiS?

There once was a dog named Stiffle. Stiffle was a mixed breed mut that was small but had really long ass legs. His legs were a foot long from his body to the ground and his body was about the size of a chihuahua.

Stiffle lived on the streets in an awful town you probably have heard of, Shitsburg PA, AKA Pittsburgh. He lived on the streets because his owner died and the owners children did not want Stiffle, so they just threw him out and never came back for him.

Stiffle has been living on the streets for two years now. He has had to deal with the freezing temperatures of the winter and the blazing hot temperatures of the summer. Right now it is mid summer and it is blazing hot out. Some say "It's as hot as Satan's taint out there!!!@!@" I don't really know why they would say that since there's no such thing as Satan and no one knows how hot his taint is but whatever...

Today Stiffle was able to find a nice kids sized pool to jump in and cool off. He was there for about 10 mins just laying in the water relaxing when someone walked up to him and screamed and started chasing poor Stiffle away. Stiffle then ran away, at least he was able to enjoy the nice cool water for a few minutes and cool off from this shitty hot summer heat.

Once he got around the corner he started to just walk and then was able to find shade under a car. Stiffle was lying under the car for about an hour and a little kid seen him and came up to him and started to call for him. Stiffle then awoke and started wagging his crooked ass tail that was short because it got slammed in a door once. The kid stepped closer and put his hand out and Stiffle got up and walked over to the child.

Once Stiffle was close enough to the kid, the kid reached his hand out and started to pet Stiffle. Stiffle was wagging that crooked ass tail more and then when the kid went to pet Stiffles' back, Stiffle went bat-shit crazy and bit the kids goddamn fingers clean off and there was blood everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE! Looked like the kid stuck his hand in a meat grinder.

The kid screamed and then woke up!!

It was just a nightmare!!! Cody was having a nightmare about himself, the child, getting his hand visously torn apart by an ugly ass leggy chihuahua thing.

The weird part is Cody is 46 and does not live anywhere near Shitsburgh, nor has he ever visited there. Who would anyways, lul amiright?!?!?!

Story numero tres Best day NA

Once upon a time there was this little hobbit named Conier. Conier was a young lad that wanted to go to college to better his life and study computers and shit like that.

Conier was in his mid 20's and worked at UPS on the graveyard shift. His job at UPS was to keep all of the exotic animals contained in the small warehouse and feed and water them. He was given a sword and a shield to protect himself from the vicious creates of the dark. But alas, he was way too "manly" to use them and would go in with his bare hands.

Most of the time he was only caring for small creates such as ferrets, spiders, small snakes and the occasional guinea pig, but today he had met his greatest challenge. It was a fat fucking chihuahua wolf mix. This thing couldn't weigh more than 10 pounds but remember, Conier was a little fat fucking dwarf and this ugly ass dog was a quarter his size!!

So at the beginning of his shift at UPS he had to face this ugly ass dog thing and feed and water it so it wouldn't die. Conier seen that this nasty dog was sleeping so he took this opportunity to sneak in, feed and water the hamburger looking animal and sneak back out. He began to slowly open the door and then one foot at a time, began to slowly walk over to the food and water bowl. Conier began to dump water in the bowl and then started pooring food in the other bowl. He was finally done and started to head back to the door.

Once Conier got to the door he realized that it was locked and could not be unlocked from the inside. He began to panic and knock on the door and yell for help. With Conier making all of the loud noise, the ground meat looking mut awoke and started to walk over to Conier. The dog thing started to growl and snarl at Conier and then POUNCED on him!!

The sphincter looking chihuahua started to tear into Conier and tore him to pieces!!!! It looked like a slaughter house in there when it was done.

Then something amazing happened, Conier woke up!! It was all a dream!!

He looked around and he was in a classroom surrounded by students doing their work while he was there sleeping like a lazy fucking hobbit he was.

Later that day they took a test and he failed it and dropped out of school because he doesn't have a good work-ethic and can't do any homework right. Also he failed every class he took.

Kids, Stay in school and get good grades. Don't be a Conier and work at UPS and sleep in class when he actually shows up for class.